Today's blog is about changes. Once again in Brandon's life, he is experiencing big changes and big changes for the whole family. It is always with sadness and with happiness when people who work with Brandon move on to that next adventure in their life. I have found in my years of hiring people to work with Brandon, that people who work with him form a incredible bond that is unique, strong, binding and with deep respect for one another. Usually when an aide starts with Brandon they have no idea what to expect. In Brandon's own unique way he will test each one of them until they pass the test. This can take months. It is not obvious to most people. But it is to me. He will pretend like he cant do anything. See how much he can get someone to do for him and he will completely ignore until he thinks the aide is worthy of his effort to engage. For Brandon, that effort is a great deal of work trying to train the person how to communicate with him, how to have fun with him, find out what kinds of music he loves and how to care for him. I hired Ross Dubois about 5 years ago to work with Brandon. Up to that point in Brandon's life I usually hired women. But Brandon was now 16, well into the changes in his life and I felt like it was time to focus on some male influences in his daily life. I had hired two musicians previously who worked with Brandon and knowing that Brandon loves music I wanted to hire another male musician to be part of his life. At the time, Brandon was recovering from H1N1, had lost 20 pounds, was very weak and sick and was recovering from foot surgery. Not a great way to start with a new aide. I found the perfect fit in Ross. He really didn't have any experience working with kids with special needs, but he was willing to try. He came highly recommended. Ross had decided to go back to school and this was a good match for us. He needed a job that could let him work part-time and with his schedule and we needed someone after school and flexible for those job trips I often have during the year. Of course Brandon tested Ross, played a few tricks on him in the beginning, but they developed a deep bond. Ross was the guy in Brandon's life that treated him like another guy. Ross was also more like a big brother showing Brandon what is expected from him as he has grown older. Ross has worked with Brandon on independence, being more responsible for himself, encouraging him to talk to his peers, coworkers and friends. Ross was there for Brandon's first job experience at the Coalition for Texans with Disabilities. Brandon had no idea what to do or what was a job. It started out really rough. But with the persistence of Ross and the group at the Coalition of Texans with Disabilities Brandon made it through 2 months in the job, developed job skills and made a video about the ADA. Ross worked tirelessly in Brandon's jobs in the summer with the goal of independence and self advocacy. Each summer Brandon was even stronger than the last. Ross had also worked with Chris at the condo (the bachelor pad) to help Brandon develop good skills as a roommate and to achieve more independence.
Over the years Ross graduated from College with a degree in Journalism, played music as a solo artist and with various bands, traveled to other counties and toured with bands. But we have always managed to work around the schedule for the time he was away. I knew the day would come and last week was the week we decided would be his last working with Brandon. I am so proud of Ross for pursing his dreams with his band "Not in the Face". I have also reminded him to remember the little people when he becomes a rock star. His loss was hard for all of us. Ross for me was like having another family member hanging around the house. I told him the last day he was here that I never worried about Brandon one day when Ross was with him and that meant the world to me. He told me he was so proud of all the progress Brandon has made while he had been with him and grateful to be treated like part of our family. Even my brother was so touched by Ross and he will miss him. I was not here for Ross's last day, but my brother said Brandon hugged him tight and said he was going to miss him. Thank you Ross for all the years of loving Brandon. You have made a difference and you should be proud of your impact.
Ross with Brandon at first job with COTWD
Ross with Brandon at SXSW and Yoko Ono Session
Ross at Brandon's graduation
Ross with us in Port Aransas
Ross and Brandon in "We are the Chorus"
Brandon;s birthday party
Okay enough already. Below are some Ross pictures with "Not in the Face" and playing on his own. So proud of the band and their success. Go see them when they are in town or in your town.
http://www.notinthefacerocks.com/
