Five years ago Brandon and I decided that we needed to plan for
the future. Brandon was ready for those baby steps to take more control
of his life and the direction it takes. I needed to allow Brandon to make
decisions, have more of a role choosing those people in his life, provide
direction on preferred jobs and choose the place and setting where he wants to
live. Brandon has grown so much in the last 5 years. I am so proud
of him. Part of this is letting go and hope the benefits outweigh the
risks. This includes advocating his needs and helping those adults
around him when things are not right in his life.
Two weeks ago Brandon spoke up for himself and told me things are
not right in his life and there needed to be a change. The last few weeks
have forced me to reflect on the last few months trying to understand Brandon’s
health symptoms and appearance of anxiety and possibly depression. Based
on that reflection and our conversation I am beginning to understand that
Brandon is very vulnerable, easily manipulated and may have had things happen
in his life that result in emotional health challenges. I am just now
learning how to recognize those signs and how to encourage Brandon to talk to
me in a manner where he can express those needs and fears without him worrying
about the consequences. This is a lesson no parent wants to learn, but I
hope we are both growing from this experience and how to better identify both
those feelings and need for help much sooner. We are working with
professionals on this now.
It breaks my heart for my son, but I must keep continue to move
forward to support him, protect him, and still allow him to live his life.
There is always a fine line between empowering your young adult with
disabilities to live their life to the fullest, seek out their dreams and then find
a way to make those dream happen, while at the same time, remain safe. Sometimes,
not everyone who comes into contact with Brandon has his best interest in
mind.
The good news is that Brandon is has been happy this week, back at
work and school and surrounded by an amazing group of supportive teachers,
aides, employers, friends and family. We are all here to support Brandon and to
assure all the hard work of the last 5 years continues to progress. We
are still on track for our trip to Liverpool and Brandon can’t be more
excited.
We are making changes to our fundraising efforts. We have
cancelled the fundraiser scheduled for April 26th at Scholtz’s, but
will still hold a private fundraiser in February. I want to thank all of
my friends, old and new, who kicked it in gear and provided Brandon with the
support he and I needed. Brandon's school and his other aides who jumped
in and volunteered additional hours have been a godsend! Brandon is so
happy to be surrounded by people he loves and trusts. It makes a big
difference for him and me too.
I post this so you understand that this population is so
vulnerable, but they also have wants, needs and dreams. They are also at
high risk for abuse, neglect and isolation. Let’s all do our part to
watch a little closer, become a trusted friend and to provide support in a time
of need.
Love you all
Leah
