Transition Day 3

Well I cant believe it.  Brandon is now three days into living with his companion (Chris) and I could not ask for any better.  I took Brandon to the condo on Sunday to prepare for school the next day and for him to live with his companion and work with Ross each school day.  Brandon spent the night Sunday night, went out for supplies and food to prepare for the week and happily went to bed ready for school.  Chris got Brandon up for the morning routine and took him to the bus stop.  The school reported Brandon was happy and engaged.  Chris reported Brandon was happy and Ross reported Brandon was happy.  SO I AM HAPPY. 

I told Chris that Brandon could call me last night.  I was out running errands and rushed back to the house because Brandon is now using FaceTime to call me.  I need WiFi to get a good signal.  I made it back here at 7:45 thinking he would call at 8:00.  A little after 8:00 Chris called and said Brandon told him he was good and didn't need to talk to me.  WHAT.  He doesn't need his mommie!!!!!  I has so happy for Brandon but having mixed feelings for me.  I think we are both transitioning and perhaps Brandon is transitioning better than me.  Tonight I had Brandon call so I could check for myself.  Sure enough.  Brandon as very happy, not agitated and seemed very comfortable in his own home.  I know there will be ups and downs as we continue down this path, but I could not ask for a better start.  Chris thanked me for letting him work with Brandon and I cant thank him enough for being the great guy he is.  It also helps that Brandon's bud Ross is there everyday and many people from the school are the same.  I think it also helped that we lived at the condo for 1 year and had many respite weekends and travel days leaving Brandon with other people on a regular basis.  For him this is the same.  It is also great that Brandon's seizures have stopped.  I think Brandon is very confident with his health at the moment. 

Now we have to work through the logistics of making sure everyone knows the schedule, the updates, having the right supplies and medicines and getting Brandon out in the community.  We already have Brandon ready for "We are the Chorus".  The group will be working on Love Songs.  Brandon has a social Wednesday and soon special Olympics bowling. We also are starting Brandon trying independent tasks such as laundry, making his own food, setting out clothes, shaving and brushing his teeth, etc.  Lots to do and three years before Brandon graduates from school. 

I am also working on trying to get Brandon working at the KOOP.  Brandon will go back to the hospital for work this year, have swimming three times a week and social outings with the school group once a week.  The Adult Transition Program has doubled in size this year with 1/4 of the special education students in the school participating in the Adult Transition Program.  Many challenges for the school.  Next year they will triple in size.  So the more of a routine Brandon can have now, the better. 

A little treat for Brandon.  I bought Beach Boy tickets.  He will love it. 
More later.
Leah

ITS ALL GOOD

Since my last post I have once again realized what a great city we live in.  Austin has a young progressive population and a fabulous workforce.  I was very disappointed at losing the companion I selected for Brandon to live with him during the next school year.  But I managed to move on and start the search all over.  I decided to immediately post an ad and start the friends and family word of mouth search.  I really want to post today to encourage others thinking about that next step with their young adult that this is very doable. I had over 40 qualified responses and at least 10 with fabulous experience and references.  But I decided to go with a personal reference from the prior companion and another aide working with a family friend.  I have hired Chris to live with Brandon next year as his companion.  Chris has previous experience working with young adults 17-23 transitioning and all types of disabilities.  He is also a musician.  His personality is very laid back and kind of goofy.  He is really a perfect match for Brandon. 

Brandon is having a very difficult time these last few weeks preparing for the transition of moving back to the condo.  Brandon rarely gets worked up about anything, except the Beatles (and occasionally Selena Gomez).  But for the last two weeks and during our meeting with Brandon network, he has been very stressed.  Last week Ross (Brandon's current aide during the day) came back from vacation.  I asked Ross to take Brandon somewhere he could relax.  We decided on going to a movie.  When Ross come in to the house, Brandon burst into tears stating he could not leave the house.  He used the excuse that he needed to see a Disney Show.  I can't remember the last time Brandon cried.  Even during H1N1. 

Brandon's brother Patrick came to visit last week.  We had a great visit.  After Patrick left, Brandon sent a message to his brother that he was going to miss mama and he was sad.  So this has not been easy and needless to say it is stressful for everyone.   Last weekend Brandon and his current companion did a respite weekend and has started to relax just a little.  Brandon set up his room and made the condo school ready.  Brandon is still pacing some around the house and asking constantly what is going to happen on each day of the week,  I hope by the end of Sept Brandon will get used to the routine and his stress level will be reduced. 

I have talked endlessly to other parents who have transitioned their young adults to different living situations.  All of them are unique.  One parent told me about her son moving in with another family and they have worked out respite periodically through the month.  One parent has partnered up with another parent and their children live with a companion, with attendants working throughout the day.  Another parent is slowly moving out of her house, leaving her son and his friends to live independently.  The financial portions of these arrangement all are very creative.  For Brandon's new arrangement, Chris will move into the condo as a employee of Brandon's CLASS program and will benefit from free room and board.  Chris will have access to Brandon's minivan (the one I leave for the aides to use when transporting Brandon).  Chris will take over each evening at 7:00 pm from Ross and sleep at the condo with Brandon until Brandon gets on the bus each morning.  This starts each Sunday evening and Fridays after Brandon leaves school he will come to Dripping Springs to spend the weekend with me.  One time per month Chris will provide a respite weekend with Brandon staying with him.  I have three additional attendants as back-up.  In concept it all sounds good.   But Brandon will have a big adjustment to moving away from his mom.  So everyone think good thoughts that this all will work and Brandon will again be happy. 

More good news - A few months ago I participated in a focus group at the University of Texas concerning children transitioning into adult services.  I apparently signed up to volunteer our arrangement for a case study.  Brandon was selected.  So the University of Texas will be studying Brandon's transition this next school year and providing student hours for him to work on socialization, any behavioral issues and working with him on communication in the public. I am very happy to have the extra help.  It takes a village.  We have outlined all the skills Brandon should work on for the next year.  I am looking forward to a more confident, socialized and independent Brandon in the future.  So stay tuned.  ITS ALL GOOD. 

More later
Leah

A little loss of the dream.

It has been a while since I have posted about Brandon's progress with transition.  Transition concerning his jobs and his desire to live as independently as possible.  I was reminded today of all things possible by this great youtube video.  Please take a little time and watch it.  It was very inspiring for me, especially today.  

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nivBPmOvviY&feature=share 

We have dreams for our kids.  When those dreams don't quite work we grieve, make adjustments and move forward.  Today my dream for Brandon's independence became diverted.  I really have been depressed all day, if not crying a little.  I found a great companion to work with Brandon during this next school year.  I have been working with him throughout the summer, a couple days a week and a few respite weekends.  The thought was for Brandon to move back into the condo with him in two weeks where Brandon's companion and Brandon would work on independent living, developing friends and becoming more involved in community activities.  The person I have been working with this summer was already experienced and would have been the next best thing to me in that he would move Brandon to that next step of his life.  I was very comfortable with him and Brandon and him have bonded.   But today we both found out that the schedule I need for this to work was not possible with his day job.  So I have decided to post here today because this is part of the transition process.  Finding just that right person to take Brandon to the next step without him being as dependent on me.  I have the loss of my dreams for Brandon today and a feeling a little sorry for all of us.  I know it is a temporary set back and hopefully I will find that right person soon, but it is still a loss for everyone.  

This person I chose as Brandon's companion is referring another possible match, but I will also throw the net wider and repost the position.  Wish us luck with the finding that perfect match and working through this diversion.  

Leah